The transcript of The Upstanding Gent: Jeff's Path to Love.
(At the end of the events of Slumber Party, inside Jeff's room, Jeff screams, then attacks Clarence.)
Jeff: You lousy liar! You big fat... You...!
Sumo: OK, break it up!
(Sumo separates Jeff and Clarence.)
Jeff: How could you? I really thought I was talking to Malessica, but it was you!
Clarence: Look, she was shy. She had a crush on you. She was shy to admit it.
Jeff: She really did?
Clarence: Yeah. But there's still a little chance that you can say that you love her back!
Sumo: He's right. Now are you just gonna stand there and not do anything, or go to Malessica and say you love her back?
(Jeff looks at Clarence and exhales.)
Jeff: I'll say I love her back!
Clarence: That's the spirit!
(He runs out of his room and goes.)
Sumo: Go get her, buddy!
(Jeff runs out the door and heads to Kimby's house. He arrives and knocks on the door.)
Jeff: Malessica, are you still there? I have to tell you something!
(Kimby's answers the door.)
Kimby: Hi, Jeff.
Jeff: Is Malessica still here? I have to tell her I love her back.
Kimby: Sorry, Jeff. She left.
Jeff: No! I was this close! And I don't even know where she even lives!
Kimby: Sorry. I know how things don't ever go the way you want them to go. But you can say that to me.
Kimby: I had a crush on you ever since I first met you. Remember?
(In a flashback at Aberdale Elementary...)
Ms. Baker: I'd like you to meet our new student... Jeff.
(Jeff enters the classroom, which Kimby becomes awed. She imagines him with a muscular body.)
Sumo: Good to see you again, Jeff!
(Clarence and Sumo point to an empty seat in the middle of them. Jeff sits there.)
Clarence: Good choice, buddy!
(Kimby blushes and gazes on Jeff.)
Malessica: Are you okay?
(Later, Kimby and her friends walk in the hallways while holding her test with an F and drawn hearts on the answers.)
Kimby: Gosh, I never got an F before.
Courtlin: You got a crush on a certain someone, that was what caused you to flunk the test, Kimby.
Malessica: There's a possibility that said person might not be that smart. But just to know! Who...?
(She bumps into Jeff, as well as her glasses coming off her face.)
Malessica: Oh, watch where you're going, you...! (As Jeff puts her glasses back on her face, she blushes and he helps her up.) ...polite nice man.
Jeff: An honor.
(She shudders in joy as he leaves.)
Malessica: So who is it?
Kimby: It's, uh... Gee, sorry, I forgot. (She nervously chuckles.)
(She turns to see Jeff talking to Clarence and Sumo.)
Kimby: Ever since that day, I didn't ever want to admit it to my friends, so I had to pretend I wasn't interested in you, to not give suspicion to them.
(Back in the present...)
Kimby: But now that she doesn't love you anymore, I can finally do this.
(She kisses his cheek. Jeff opens his mouth wide open.)
Kimby: I love you, Jeff Randell.
(Jeff doesn't respond and is still standing still.)
(She closes the door as she heads inside.)
Jeff: Oh, Kimberly.
(He now enters his room and flops on his bed.)
Sumo: How'd it go, Romeo?
Jeff: (sweetly) Wonderful.
Clarence: Aw, our best friend's growing up.
(The next at school...)
Ms. Baker: Okay, class, next month's the winter dance. So pick your dance partner.
(Jeff stares at Kimby and looks up at the ceiling. Now, in a fantasy, he and Kimby are in a restraunt, having spaghetti, then elsewhere, they dance with a spotlight beaming on them.)
Kimby: Oh, Jeff, kiss me!
(He still dances with her hand and hand.)
Kimby: Jeff? Jeff!
(Back in the classroom...)
Ms. Baker: Jeff!
Jeff: Aah! Oh, yes, Ms. Baker?
Ms. Baker: I said "Aren't you glad that you're dance partners with Kimby?"
Jeff: Really? Whoa! I mean, it feels nice that a girl finally gets to pick me.
Ms. Baker: Okay, thank you, Jeff. What about you guys?
Sumo: Well, sorry, Ms. Baker, but I'm gonna take a rain check on that, if you know what I mean.
Clarence: The last time I was with a girl, it wasn't what I thought it would be.
Ms. Baker: Well, it would appear we have two neutrals. (She checks off Clarence and Sumo with X's.) Well, the dance partners are... Jeff with Kimby, Nathan with Ingrid, Dustin with Rita, Courtlin with Julian, and Malessica with... Oh. Malessica seems to be with no one. Makes it two neutrals. (She puts an X on Malessica.)